Judging: Why We Could All Do Better

Written by Lara Antonia

 

Many people think College is like High School, just worse. They are right. People attempt to become even more competitive. Our species don’t give compliments easily, and most of us want to be in the spotlight 24/7. It’s exhausting and tiring, I can tell this much. As humans, we have this natural love, passion, and fire inside of us. We are constantly trying to find the one thing that is going to make us happy and fulfill us. We are constantly trying to be better than everybody else.

In September 2017, I started my BFA in Acting at the New York Film academy. Before that I studied two years of musical theater. Trust me I know what I’m talking about. I`ve seen it and experienced it all.

During that time, I met a lot of different people. I always just used to put people into two boxes. The “nice” box and the “rude” box. I was wrong about that. It’s not about being nicer or rude. People are just different. Not everyone is going to be our person. But we take that as an invitation to judge. Judge. The key word for this article. Hypercriticism, also very important. Being completely honest with the message I’m trying to bring across today is simple: Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Regardless of what your profession is we all have one thing in common. We want to be somebody for someone. We are constantly thriving for perfection and confirmation.

Growing up and following your path and dreams can bring out the worst and the best in people. We have all different coping mechanisms. Due to society’s standards, we are under pressure 24/7. Some start to work even harder. Others give up without even trying.

There are always people crossing our paths who are better and smarter. We start to feel cornered and threatened and the first human response is to judge. Over the months I got to know my classmates better. I got to know them better because I realized that we are all wearing masks. Just like everyone else. We work so hard to hide our true self from the world. I realized that behind every mask is a story. I can assure you the more you are tempted to judge a person the more painful a person’s past.

When I started my degree, I met 12 new people. My classmates. I have never ever seen one of them before. Some of them are Americans, some Europeans, just like myself, and we even have a girl from the Caribbean. We are dealing with 6 different cultures in one classroom every single day. Interesting and exciting wouldn’t you say? You can learn so many new things about the world out there and become a more educated person. Sadly, not many people are like that. People get insecure, they feel threatened, and they judge. That’s how we protect ourselves and feel better. I do that occasionally as well, of course. No one is perfect. Due to my past, and some events that I hope will never repeat themselves, I try to be more conscious about my thoughts and the way I treat people. There are always two sides to every story.

This thought has helped me a lot these past months and brought me some great friends. I would have never happened to get to know them better if I´d been an arrogant and self-obsessed judging person. Some people in my class had to face struggles and pains I can’t even imagine. And before I knew their story, I caught myself more than once thinking: “Oh gosh, why do they have to be so extra? Please be quiet for a second.” …and so on.

I’m so glad I never said it out loud. I’m not saying you must go out there and love everyone. I’m saying you must go out there and be open and treat people with respect. You can’t get along with everybody. You don’t have to. But at some point in your life, you should take into consideration if starting a fight with someone you hardly know is necessary. If questioning their actions is something you are entitled to do.

For some people, it’s harder to control their emotions and to stay calm. I was one of those people. Believe me when I tell you, that you feel so much better and fulfilled once you decide to approach everything with love and peace.

 

 

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