If You Don’t Have Something Nice to Say…

Written by Jenn Sadai

I find myself reciting those words, “Be the Bigger Person,” in my head quite often. So many people, especially on social media, are quick to judge and attack without warning. Although my intent is always to spread kindness, I am opinionated about politics and social issues that affect the world we live in. I openly share my thoughts on certain subjects and it’s never my intention to offend anyone who disagrees with me.

However, having a voice and expressing it publicly means you will encounter people who don’t want to hear what you have to say. Some may even be deliberately cruel or disrespectful with their attacks. As hard as it might be, never sink to their level.

It’s easy to get caught up in an online debate and it’s healthy to do so, as long as both parties are being respectful. You should be able to discuss contradicting opinions without allowing it to escalate into name calling, threats or anything intentionally hurtful. Force yourself to stick the facts of your argument and listen closely to the other person’s perspective. If you want someone to hear your thoughts on a subject, you must be willing to reciprocate the same courtesy.

Don’t Debate with Bullies

If the person is not giving you the same courtesy or being disrespectful, then your best bet is to end the discussion immediately. There is no value debating something with a person who isn’t listening to what you have to say. If their only response is insisting you’re wrong or insulting you for having a different opinion, the conversation becomes pointless. That’s a clear sign the other person is attempting to bully you into agreeing with them.

No matter how tempted you may be, don’t add fuel to the fire. You may feel compelled to point out their bad behavior, defend yourself or retaliate with snappy insults – DON’T! Bullies thrive on confrontation and want to get you flustered and frustrated. Always rise above.

Being the bigger person in these types of situations speaks volumes. First, it shows that your time is too valuable to get caught up in an ill-mannered debate. Second, it shows the bully that they haven’t gotten under your skin. Thirdly, it stops the discussion from getting much worse. Most importantly, you save your own sanity. There’s no benefit in participating in a mud-sling match, regardless of how passionate you might be about the subject matter.

There will always be bullies trying to verbally or physically force their opinions on others. Trust in the validity of your own perspective enough to ignore their attempts. It’s great to be vocal, just don’t waste your voice trying to convince people who are unwilling to listen. It’s always wiser to be the bigger person and walk away.

Permission to post by author Jenn Sadai

Jenn Guest WriterJenn Sadai is a Canadian author and advocate who’s just crazy enough to think she can change the world. Jenn shares her stories of surviving domestic violence, depression, and workplace bullying in hopes that it will help others cope and heal. She is the author of Dark Confession of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman, Dirty Secrets of the World’s Worst Employee, and Cottage Cheese Thighs. Website

%d bloggers like this: