Most people can clearly see why bullying is wrong. No one should ever be threatened, humiliated or forced to do something they don’t want to do. All forms of bullying are cruel and should never be tolerated. What most people don’t realize is that bullying is a side-effect of low self-esteem.
For both the victim and the aggressor, bullying usually stems from a lack of confidence. The bully feels threatened or inferior, so they pick on other’s flaws to feel better about their own shortcomings. The victim believes the bully’s taunts and insults are true and that the criticism is valid. There are underlying issues that compel the bully to assert their dominance and a similar mentality that convinces the victim the abuse is acceptable.
The most effective weapon against bullying is developing greater self-esteem. It’s learning that you don’t need to tear someone else down in order to raise yourself up. It’s having the confidence to recognize the bully’s comments are meritless and that you deserve to be treated with more respect.
If you’re faced with a bully, take a moment to think about why they are trying to push around. Maybe they are struggling with their own insecurities and you can help talk them through it? If you’re still being bullied, think about why you’re allowing it. You need to have enough respect for yourself to realize that no one has the right to attack your self-esteem or force you to do something you’re not willing to do. Be confident enough to speak up and confront the situation.
There’s no guarantee the bully will back down or see the error in their ways, but a compassionate conversation is usually the best way to approach to the problem initially. If the bullying continues, ask the bully to back off in a firm and confident voice. If that doesn’t work, elevate the problem to someone with the authority to resolve it. Never stay silent and just accept it. It will only get worse.
Posted with permission by the author as a guest writer
Jenn Sadai is a Canadian author and advocate who’s just crazy enough to think she can change the world. Jenn shares her stories of surviving domestic violence, depression, and workplace bullying in hopes that it will help others cope and heal. She is the author of Dark Confession of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman and Dirty Secrets of the World’s Worst Employee. She will also be publishing her third self-help memoir In July of 2016.
When she’s not trying to reshape societal views on social media, she enjoys writing, running and walking the dogs with her husband. Jenn loves to make new friends and anyone can connect with her through the social media links on her website, www.jennsadai.com.