We often look for acceptance in all the wrong places. We look for it in strangers, in our friends, with our families, and even with our partners; however, we don’t look for it where it begins…within ourselves. How can you expect others to accept you if you do not even accept yourself? We might think we are in complete acceptance, but I often find there is a great deal of denial hiding that we are unaware of. Of course, I am not saying this applies to everybody or that anybody even has to agree with this statement, but I have been around enough people on a regular basis to see this. It can be something so little that we make a mountain out of. There is always something that we are looking for that is wrong with us. I want dark hair instead of light hair, I don’t like my name, I don’t like my shoes, I don’t like my clothes, I don’t like my job, I want or need to lose weight, I am not pretty enough, My nose is too big, how do I tell people I am a lesbian, bisexual, gay, or transgender, and so on and so forth. It is a vicious cycle that becomes a bad habit…almost like an addiction.
Have you ever asked another person what they see when they look at you? Try it! You will be completely surprised on how they describe you compared to how you describe or see yourself. We never see the same person in the mirror that a stranger or people we know does. We are usually too busy looking for faults. STOP! This is half of our problem. We are constantly looking for the negative. We look for it in people around us as well. You will get the energy that you put out. I firmly believe in that. You have to accept that life is not perfect and things will happen and go wrong. You will have those moments of chaos, but in those moments you find the beautiful ones as well. You see the world from a different perspective. You might even come out a person you had no idea was there. We all have a journey we can choose to follow or do it on our own without faith in just letting the universe do its job.
If you want change, than create it. Only you can do it. Accept what has been handed to you, because it was for a reason. There is a reason why you were made to be YOU! We all have a purpose and a story to tell that will help another. Learn to accept the good and the bad while embracing it. Accept that you will fall, you will need to reach out, you might fail at something you tried (but at least you tried), you will hit road blocks, you will struggle, you will feel pain, you will cry, you will suffer loss, and the list goes on and on. When this happens, let it all go after you deal with it. Acceptance will soon follow. It is impossible to accept who we are or those around us if we are unhappy with things we want to fix, change, or can’t face. Accept the truth and love the inside and outside of your being.
Each morning when you wake up look in the mirror and say these things:
- I accept who I am now and always
- I love myself
- I am beautiful …or handsome…or hot (whatever works for you)
- I will not let negative people take space in my mind
- I will start the day positive
- I will accept that there will be trials and tribulations in my life
- I will smile and laugh often
- I will make others smile and laugh often
- I accept that I might have a bad day, but I will work through it and not take it out on others
Acceptance is hard, especially when it is something that pertains to us. It is often just easier to falsely accept other people thinking that will help us. The truth is, you can’t whole heartedly accept anybody until you accept yourself. The faults that you believe you have are useful to another. The faults that you believe you have are sometimes in your own mind. The faults you believe you have are ones that you, and only you, can fix. The faults you believe you have, they are actual flaws that make you who you are. Sometimes we need to change them and deal with them and other times we just need to accept them as part of what makes us loveable.
People will love you for you or they will not. Accept that this is going to happen no matter how badly you want that person in your life. Accept that person shouldn’t be in your life if they don’t accept you and why would you want them to be. Nobody deserves a false version of you, and neither do you. We can’t conform to what another wants us to be, so just be YOU and do YOU. When people accept you and love you for that person, than you have the right people in your life. Never change for anybody but yourself. That is what true acceptance is.
Written by: Dana Jacoviello, Founder, Creator, Manager, Motivational mentor/coach/speaker and Writer of Bullies Keep Out and host of La Bella Vita Podcast
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